Metal Lords
For teenage misfits Hunter and Kevin, the path to glory is clear: Devote themselves to metal. Win Battle of the Bands. And be worshipped like gods.
- Released: 2022-04-08
- Runtime: 97 minutes
- Genre: Comedy, Drama, Music
- Stars: Jaeden Martell, Isis Hainsworth, Adrian Greensmith, Noah Urrea, Phelan Davis, Brett Gelman, Sufe Bradshaw, Michelle Fang, Teddy Van Ee, Analesa Fisher, Katie McCabe, Kaleseya Allotey, Troy Oelke, Ella DeVito, Joe Manganiello, Scott Ian, Tom Morello, Kirk Hammett, Rob Halford
- Director: Peter Sollett
Comments
- youngcollind - 25 November 2022
I kinda feel like a curmudgeon for ragging on this, but it just wasn't very good.
This coulda been an easy win. I like metal as much as the next guy, so it shouldn't take much more than working Judas Priest's Painkiller into a scene to get me on board. I was hoping for the simple charms of something like School of Rock, but unfortunately they dropped the ball at every turn.
For starters, the central character is so dislikeable, he's hard to root for. They're going for a flawed but redeemable, Sheldon Cooper meets Bart Simpson sort of thing, but they bungle the tightrope walk and he comes across like such a jerk, you kinda want to see him fail.
It feels a bit mean to pick on the stiff performances, since the cast seems to be made up of actual teenagers. I'm not saying I coulda done any better at their age, but I've definitely seen adolescent actors come across more believable than this.
The plot bumps through several unnecessary detours within it's simple battle of the bands formula. You've got to squint to even see the attempts at humour. It almost has the feel of a straight to Disney kids movie, but there's far too much gratuitous swearing to even pass for that. They also hit many of my pet peeves in terms of unrealistic depictions of musicians (high schoolers who write sheet music, bands who can play without practicing), but so does every movie ever, so I guess I'll let that one go.
Probably the best moment was a scene featuring cameos from metal gods Kirk Hammett, Scott Ian, Rob Halford and Tom Morello. Since Morello was involved in the film, I'm guessing he called in the favours. One can only imagine what a dream Rolodex that dude has.
